Posts
I am the product of two worlds; two worlds that happen to mix about as unsuccessfully as oil and water. The first world is the church. Raised in it, completely immersed in it socially, and answering the call to different types of ministries at different times in my life.
The second world could be argued whether I am really a product of it at all. In a lot of ways there has not been that same immersion into it, though I have plunged at different times in my life. This world is that of being gay, knowing I have had same sex attractions since the age of 10. I technically came out of the closet just over four years ago. There is a back story attached to this blog as well, feel free to read it, but be warned: It’s long.
Most people, from both worlds, would simply say “just choose one or the other!” But I have tried that. To those that would suggest that I will say this: It’s truly not that easy, but thanks for trying. Donald Miller, author of “Blue Like Jazz” basically states that its as if there is something inside that causes him to believe in Christ; that he can’t not believe. I feel so much the same way.
And to those in the conservative world, and especially those that know me, I am simply not created to be alone. While I am not involved in any sort of relationship, both for the purposes of finding my resolve, and honestly because I don’t have time due to going back to school, I maintain that God created me specifically as a loving and social creature. I have finally come to the place where I can actually say that I have much to offer the right person. When you look at your spouse and you know the reasons you are with that person, please know that I am no different.
There it is. Hopefully this will be the introduction to healthy discussions, insight, and a chance to build bridges. Please feel free to respond respectfully, or be deleted. And know that the statements “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” or the classic “love the sinner, hate the sin” would only show ignorance. And by the way, ignorance is really ok, it’s only when one chooses to stay ignorant that they are guilty of continuing the cycle of separation between the two worlds.
Thanks for reading,
-unresolved
Hi John,
ReplyDeleteI read your back story and this post. I'm impressed with your articulate account of your journey and your openness.
Love is love. I hope you find a wonderful man to share your life with.
Anjie
Hi John,
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Anjie said.
Also, I think I should point out that homosexuality is a basic biological phenomenon that occurs widely throughout nature. My personal feeling is that you don't need to feel badly about the way that your brain is wired. Scientifically speaking, it's not really very different than being left handed or preferring anchovies on a pizza.
The fact is that we really *know* that you had no choice in this. You were simply born this way. Logically then, to assert that you should feel badly about it and live in misery is to assert that the almighty is some kind of jerk who wants you to suffer for your whole life.
I for one am uncomfortable with that assertion.
Anyhow, I expect that you will find that there are plenty of kind people in this world who will accept you as you are. You don't need to always feel ostracized. And there are churches that are progressive enough to accept gay people. Have you tried a Unitarian church? I have no idea if that would work for you or not. I am just throwing it out there since it seems to be important to you.
Marc